Looking at life with a different set of glasses

This year has filled me with a brand new obsession. And it’s getting stronger as the days go by. There is a driving, all-consuming need in me to break away from the world as I have always known it and discover a different way of looking at it. I think I need to move away from stereotypes, from age old perceptions and from the very concept of right and wrong. It’s way too subjective and driven by belief systems that we had no contribution in.

It’s almost as if we’ve forgotten to think for ourselves. Our idea of what is beautiful is defined by the beauty and healthcare industry. Our idea of what is good for us is defined by our family and friends. Our idea of relationships is defined by candy floss romance on television. Our idea of weddings is defined by Karan Johar’s movies. Our idea of success is defined by tales of glorification that sometimes completely skip the struggle that must have gone into reaching the pinnacle described. The following words by Alain De Botton describe it spot on:

“One of the interesting things about success is that we think we know what it means. A lot of the time our ideas about what it would mean to live successfully are not our own. They’re sucked in from other people. And we also suck in messages from everything from the television to advertising to marketing, etcetera. These are hugely powerful forces that define what we want and how we view ourselves. What I want to argue for is not that we should give up on our ideas of success, but that we should make sure that they are our own. We should focus in on our ideas and make sure that we own them, that we’re truly the authors of our own ambitions. Because it’s bad enough not getting what you want, but it’s even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out at the end of the journey that it isn’t, in fact, what you wanted all along.”

It’s time to break norms. And not in the traditional sense - with tattoos and piercings and looking fierce – unfortunately even misfits are predictable now. Break norms not to “be different” or “standout” but to align ourselves with the universe and train our thoughts to break out of their age old, boring pattern.

Delhi and people who claim to be men

After a whole year, I stepped into the Delhi Metro yesterday to meet a friend of mine in Gurgaon. Owing to paucity of time, I ended up boarding the "general" compartment since I couldn't make it to the "Ladies only" compartment as the train pulled in. I regretted it instantaneously. Despite all the awareness programmes that have been running in this city after the heinous rape that brought protestors onto the streets in 2012, little has changed in terms of men staring at you like you are something to eat. I agree things are slightly better than they were a decade ago when they didn't stop at starting itself and decided to feel you up too. But again, I may have gotten lucky.

Here's an amazing video created by Whistling Woods International that tries to drive home the point. How can a city/country/region ever progress if men continue to treat women as mere meat?

Praying for change.

To Do or Not to Do

There is only one reason why resolutions break down year after year - the inability of human beings to form new habits. Sometimes, when you dispassionately look at your life, you wonder, why is it that you run away from something that will benefit you in more ways than one? What kind of a stupid person does that? The answer is : The lazy kind. Years of "giving in" to demands of the mind is showing signs now. And pertinent ones at that. The squidginess around the edges, the platinum highlights that I'd rather not have, a poor disposition that leads to viral attacks ever so often.

I had often heard that it takes 21 days to form a habit. I can attest to the fact that it's incorrect because many an excercise regime has been defeated post 25-30 days of rigorous practice. Similar inconsistencies have been experienced when it comes to staying off junk food. A recent article in "Brain Pickings" has beautifully put such false notions to rest. Read it here: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2014/01/02/how-long-it-takes-to-form-a-new-habit/ 

Key takeaway:

"Although the study only covered 84 days, by extrapolating the curves, it turned out that some of the habits could have taken around 254 days to form — the better part of a year!

What this research suggests is that 21 days to form a habit is probably right, as long as all you want to do is drink a glass of water after breakfast. Anything harder is likely to take longer to become a really strong habit, and, in the case of some activities, much longer."

It seems, the harder the undertaking, the longer you need to do it for it to become a habit. 2 days down in this new year, I haven't moved so much as a muscle and waking up early is still an ordeal (though it IS 4 degrees celsius in the mornings .. sigh.. excuses).

So at the fag end of a 3 week break from work, I intend to start getting my life on track. My brain needs to listen to me rather than enslaving me the way it as for all these years. I think having something to look forward to at 6:00 am might just help my case. Since a doughnut would entirely defeat the purpose, I am thinking about early morning blogs instead (post a large cup of tea of course).

Here's to willpower and the interesting times ahead!

2014 Resolutions: Live, Laugh, Love

So I was busy going through my resolutions from 2013 and sizing up the year against the benchmarks that I had set for myself. Though I didn't fail completely in my own eyes at the game of life last year, there's a lot left to be desired. Laziness, physical-mental-spiritual, seems to have been the troublemaker for things not done. Unconscious living seems to be another. When you look back at an entire year and have only 10 odd occurrances that took your breath away, you need to seriously re-examine your life. Of course, all excuses need to be thrown out of the window.

Living consciously is of course the top of the resolutions list this year. This is followed by writing the book I had started 2 years ago, reading more (especially the works of Vivekananda), dancing more (planning to get back to Bharatnatyam), and perfecting myself in the art of living. I think it's high time I stopped letting life's little twists and turns get on my nerves and be ready to face everything with grace and courage. The only thing I fear is fear itself (much like Potter), and I have a burning desire to live each moment like it's my last and not worry about the consequences at all.

Finally, this year is going to be special in more ways than one owing to the most fortuitous turn of events in my life. I intend to enjoy every moment of that blessing and focus on giving rather than harbouring silly expectations.

May you all have a magical 2014 :)