Fleeting Moments

On the 1st of December this year (yes, 2 days ago), the realization that we're close to the end of another year naturally dawned on me. And I really couldn't figure out where the year had gone. I lived 2017 so intensely (too intensely for my liking), that the relative relaxation of 2018 has me confusing timelines like an exhausted time traveler. While doing my 2018 self assessment at work, I had to redo sections of my write up because what I'd thought I'd done in 2018 was actually a flashback from 2017 and no longer relevant. The year was punctuated by big moments every now and then, but mostly, it was a year that was whiled away with a vengeance. The only thing lasting that I've got out of this year is my conviction to not use my body like a dustbin after 33 years of food-abuse. Strangely, the moment that I decided that is the only lucid moment from this year. Seriously, where did the year go! Does everyone feel that way?

We're now at the brink of 2019. And like every December, despite knowing that time's just an illusion, I am getting excited about how I want to spend the coming year. Making healthy food choices is already sorted. Getting regular exercise - not so much. Reiki and meditation aren't as regular as they should be. I rarely write, despite the most inspiring gift by the husband on our anniversary (a peacock feather quill  and ink set!). And I know that the more I write, the more likely I am to get better at it. Maybe there's something in it. I started last year with a writing prompt a day. But laziness soon throttled the creative soul inside me. And I picked passive consumption of random media, over creation of new, joyous tales. I'm on a FB/Insta free trial period right now (I really shouldn't call it a "period" - I deleted the apps from my phone only last night, and have been picking up my phone every 38 seconds like an addict looking for a fix and not getting it). But it's a start. What I realized was, that my 30 seconds of fame on Facebook every other day, make me not want to work for something extraordinary in life. And at the end of the day, it's living with a purpose that makes life worthwhile. Living Facebook post to post - not so much. If I see the merit in it, I might just deactivate my FB and Insta accounts on 31st December and reclaim what it means to live life without having to post about it/ thinking up cool one-liners to go with random images. Actually, while writing about it, I feel the conviction getting stronger. Maybe I don't want those small popularity boosts anymore, but want to genuinely build a meaningful life that is not dependent on show off opportunities. Maybe it won't be everything I dream of, but I'm sure that after years of mind-numbing media consumption, it'll definitely bring some new perspectives into my life. I should really write the Heritage Walk post before I leave though! A promise is a promise!

So 2019 seems promising already! I am super excited about making writing and meditation a priority. And improving relationships with people in my life. And writing more frequently than the two years spent off this blog. Here's to new paths!

Year End Musings

I had 5 months of absolutely nothing to do this year. The remaining seven weren't overbearingly busy either despite a new job. And now I've discovered that after all those amazing new year resolutions, I have exactly 3 blog posts, 0 new pages in my book, and I'm fatter than I was all of last year.

On the flip side, we celebrated our 1 year anniversary in the gorgeous Gir forests with aplomb! We saw lionesses, adorable cubs, and went to Somnath and saw the place where Sri Krishna had left his human form! I was able to visit Delhi every 1.5-2 months to hug Maxi boy silly. And I actually cooked for 20 people and the food was delicious for a change! And I baked like a person possessed till I realized that I was getting too fat eating all that gooey chocolate goodness, and stopped cold turkey.

It's been a very interesting year indeed!

As much as the voice in my head is telling me that I'm writing this post simply to bring up my post count for the year, I think a part of me (the non-cynical big part) is still super excited about new year resolutions and the fresh start a brand new year offers. Fresh start from what, you ask? From my own laziness. Yes I said it last year. And the year before. And I did succeed at becoming better to an extent. But the relapse after a couple of months is hard to conquer. No more.

Here's to working out religiously, eating healthy (minimal added sugar, I'm already on a zero fried food diet), writing EVERYDAY (I can't afford excuses here - a few days without it and it all goes out of the window), going back to Bharatanatyam (the return has already been charted), meditating EVERYDAY (dillydallying doesn't get you anywhere), and sleeping lesser. Consistency will be my Mantra for 2016. Along with Zero Negative Thinking. The world of course is losing it more and more everyday. 2016 will also be a year of inner peace. After all, you can only spread what you've got :)

Here's to trying new things, being new things and living it up every single moment. Happy 2016 everyone :)

P.S. Looking forward to our vacation time too -  a year that starts with an exotic holiday can only get better from there :).

Goodbye 2014! Hello 2015!

2014 was unlike any year I've ever had before. I started dating for the first time, got married, quit my steady well paying job and moved cities .. all for one boy (thankfully it's been worth it :) )! And on Christmas I sang a group song after the longest time thanks to Gobind Sadan. And and and .. I got a doggy - my Maxi boy! It was a year full of drastic changes I could have never imagined in 2013. I think I did live it up to quite an extent.

Having said that, the book I'd promised I'd finish in 2014 remains untouched at the chapter I'd last finished. I am still not exercising regularly (exercised just enough to fit into my gorgeous lehenga at the wedding :D). Eating healthy is a distant dream. I haven't blogged half as much as I'd thought I would. Daily meditation is happening on a weekly, if not monthly basis. Though my cooking skills may just have seen some improvement!

In the coming year, I solemnly swear I shall write at least once a week. I WILL exercise at least 5 times a week. I will find an awesome job in Vadodara that will at least match my previous salary. I WILL stay healthy by exercising my currently not-so-awesome will power when it comes to food that kills my throat or sinuses. I will become awesome in Spanish and pass my CIMA Strategy level. I will find a reason to be utterly happy at any given point. I WILL meditate every single day.

2014 - thank you for being so amazing. A lot has been learnt. A lot of areas have been identified for further learning. 2015 - Can't wait to get started on the new me :)

Happy New Year guys :)

2014 Resolutions: Live, Laugh, Love

So I was busy going through my resolutions from 2013 and sizing up the year against the benchmarks that I had set for myself. Though I didn't fail completely in my own eyes at the game of life last year, there's a lot left to be desired. Laziness, physical-mental-spiritual, seems to have been the troublemaker for things not done. Unconscious living seems to be another. When you look back at an entire year and have only 10 odd occurrances that took your breath away, you need to seriously re-examine your life. Of course, all excuses need to be thrown out of the window.

Living consciously is of course the top of the resolutions list this year. This is followed by writing the book I had started 2 years ago, reading more (especially the works of Vivekananda), dancing more (planning to get back to Bharatnatyam), and perfecting myself in the art of living. I think it's high time I stopped letting life's little twists and turns get on my nerves and be ready to face everything with grace and courage. The only thing I fear is fear itself (much like Potter), and I have a burning desire to live each moment like it's my last and not worry about the consequences at all.

Finally, this year is going to be special in more ways than one owing to the most fortuitous turn of events in my life. I intend to enjoy every moment of that blessing and focus on giving rather than harbouring silly expectations.

May you all have a magical 2014 :)

Resolutions!

We've almost been brought up to believe that resolutions are bound to be broken. And that it's alright when it happens. Whatever happened to personal accountability and promises!

So I decided that this time around I was not going to break my own promises. I know it's early in the year - and all seems doable right now. But I'm done with denegerating as an individual as the days go by in a year and then making unattainable resolutions all over again. Here goes the list of promises made by yours truly to her esteemed self :

1) Workout: If it's 3 degress celsius in the morning and office starts early - then find a way to move while at work. I've decided to pretty much shun the elevators this year. I work on the 4th floor - if an exercise regima cannot be followed 10 trips up and down the stairs should take care of some part of my health. But everyday has to be an exercising day!

2) Read: 2012 slipped past without my mind and soul having explored other worlds. Movies are great - but reading has its own charm. The crazy amount of office work last year - very little of which was actually put into use - klled my appetite for reading. When the eyes are red and swollen from having stared non-stop for hours at end into the laptop - reading stops becoming a priority. Made up for some of that loss during my 15 days of core leaves in December - where I polished off the LOTR trilogy, The Hobbit, and Ashwin Sanghi's Chanakya's Chants and The Krishna Key. I am a much better person for having done this I feel.

On to the Romanovs at last, gifted by my best friend on my last birthday! It's one of the most intriguing pieces of historical fiction I've ever read - and will probably make me want to overcome my lack of knowledge on Russian history soon!

3) Meditate: The world and more importantly, going to work each day, tends to take a toll on the human mind and spirit. Sometimes, you get so lost in the pettiness of the situation, that you forget to look at things in perspective. That's where meditation helps. I have realised I am a much better person when I'm quieter deep down - agitation gets me no where. Besides, in sync with my belief that each human being needs to become in sync with the universe in order to make this world a truly survivable place, I need to be the change I want to see in others.

4) Write: Writing, in my view, gives a window to a person's soul. Things becomes so much clearer when you put them down on paper. Whether it's in the form of a journal (which I've started yet again this year - and intend to fill ~90% of) or blogging - writing is something that puts me in  a flow - and I intend to do more such things this year.

5) Travel: I start feeling restless if I don't travel. It's not that I'm not content with my life, it's just that I yearn to see other places, experience other cultures, every now and then. Last year, a trip to Ukraine went awry - but this year - a trip to France and maybe Spain seems likely as ever, thanks to someone moving base to a beautiful city for sometime :)

6) Cook: My Pinterest page has too many untried cooking pins that I swore I'd try last year! This year I plan to evolve into a Master Chef. And unlike other years - the resolve is stronger!

7) Stop Cribbing: Alright so I'm not really clear of my life's direction. I am doing well at work, but given a choice I'd rather do something else. But that does not mean that I turn into a full blown cribber and crib the ears off my poor family and some friends! The job isn't bad, my work is always recognised and rewarded, and not all people I work with are loons. If I don't know what I want to do with my life - I shouldn't take it out on others really. There is simply no justification. So 2013 will be a no-crib-zone as far as I'm concerned. And I intend to keep a distance from the negativity filled being that sometimes surround me - I'll pray for them and send them some light - but I WILL NOT CRIB!

8) Volunteer: I think I'm blessed to have a great family, awesome friends, a job and no debilitating illnesses. And I am multi talented - it's time to put all that to use and actually help people out. Each human being deserves dignity in life - I solemnly swear I will do something to help bring that into some lives this year.

9) Stop taking the environment for granted: Whether it's water running as I brush my teeth or lights on in another room - one tries to be careful as far as natural resources are concerned. However, I think there's a lot more scope as far as being more conscious about all of this is concerned. I will henceforth live life with greater deliberation and do my bit to not take more out of earth than I already have. And maybe take up gardening.
That's about it as far as resolutions are concerned. Laziness is in for a pounding this year - already I feel better for having taken the first steps towards my various resoultions (umm, except cooking - but that will change soon).

Looking forward to a spiritual, happy and exciting 2013!