As a girl who'd idolised Mr. Darcy all her life, I'd always believed that a blue eyed boy (even though his were brown) with deep brown hair and a lovely British accent will probably just materialise at my doorstep someday. A gorgeous boy did materialise - but without the eye colour, hair colour or the accent. And though my long-since programmed brain kept telling me that the subject of my affection and attraction was oh-so-wrong, my heart told me otherwise.Thus began my love affair with a man so earthy and devoid of all frills and fancies that one usually associates with love that every few days I had to just sit back and wonder what on earth I was doing in a relationship with him. It was so hard reconciling the love life that I'd dreamt of for myself in that crazy brain of mine with the love life I had willingly chosen and yet did not know what to do about.
After nearly a year of playing tug of war, laying my soul bare, then withdrawing completely, loving with all my heart, and then not wanting to deal with it at all, we're finally getting married. Because what I discovered at the cost of a lot of unnecessary mental stress was that love isn't flowers, it isn't poetry or even a whispered dialogue said at the right time. Love just is. It doesn't always materialise in filmy ways. But as long as it does materialise as genuine warmth, caring and trust - everything else just falls away. Love is. It isn't because of. It just is. Inexplicable, impossible to understand and never to be trifled with.
Also, there's something very liberating about being able to finally let go of a very narrow view point of love and accept it as it comes - completely, whole heartedly, with all its elements. Yes, I think I'm finally ready to take the plunge :)
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