Kahaan Ke Idiots! Aaaaall izz well :)

I had started this blog after I watched 3 idiots for the first time on the 27th of December, but somehow found myself out of words. The movie was brilliant...I hadn't laughed like that...or been moved like that during a film in forever! But still I just couldn't get past the rather tacky title! So I decided to get back to it.

And today I have..having watched the movie again :)...

Don't really want to analyze it...break it down...and what not...but I did leave the hall wishing I were more like Phunsuk Wangru! What would I not give to have that kind of certainty of purpose..of passion for SOME field...I mean I like what I do...I have loads of fun travelling...yet given a choice...I'd rather bury myself in a book or randomly surf the net than go to office! What does it take to want to wake up at 3 in the morning wanting to go back to work...What makes passionate people tick? What makes Aamir Khan re-invent himself and bring a 20 year old character to life at the age of 44 ...when others his age are either frustrated with their work...or longing for retirement! What makes Paulo Coelho get up early every morning and dedicate himself to writing...What makes Amitabh Bachchan...at an age when many Indians practically give up on life...hit the gym at 5...and do more in a day than I probably do in a month!

All these people have that spark...have flamed that fire within...but how do you and I do the same?? I have tried listening to my heart...it is by far the most confused thing on this entire planet! Doesn't really help!

Sigh...someday...I will know...till then I shall continue to hope ... Dil pe haat rakh ke bolungi...Aall izz Well :)

Sing Sleighing Songs Tonight!

It is THAT time of the year again...There's a chill in the air...Santa Claus movies on TV...plenty of hot soup/ hot chocolate in the kitchen...a collection of books to read...no more office till next year...Christmas is heeeeeeerrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeee!!!

This is one festival that has crossed the religion lines world over. There is a warm fuzzy feeling in the air despite the cold...people go out of their way to do their bit of good in the world...spirits are high (pun intended) and people are happy in general. It brings back memories of school days when we dressed up in "Fairy Frocks" and "Baby Tuxedoes" and sang Christmas Carols before the entire school! This was usually followed by a Ho-Ho-ing Santa (one of our fattest classmates :D)...who threw sweets down...and distributed cakes in the end....They were FUN days!

I had once read about some generators that scientists have set up that detect the mood of the world...to paint a picture...imagine bulbs lighting up across continents (yeah..even in Africa) when the world consciousness rises up in support of or against something. Apparently made the generators work overtime during the last US elections...I'm sure the same happens during this time of the year!

So let's get our act together...reflect on the year gone by and draw up our New Year Resolutions...do something awesome for the people we love...be creative...be happy...Just enjoy the moment...

Star Struck

One minute I was admiring the topmost floors of our hotel that seemed to disappear into the afternoon skies...and the next minute I hit the floor hard ... cheek first ... "Welcome to Dubai," said a sarcastic voice in my head as I pretended that it was no big deal and collected pieces of luggage from the floor in front of my new manager. The hotel was gorgeous inside too, but things were swimming around and my colleagues' voices came from somewhere far away as I tried to clear my head after my latest fall.

It wasn't my fault. After getting out of the massive airport, post a 4 hour marathon in-flight movie session, you somehow feel like you are part of some glitzy hollywood set. Buildings seem to swim upwards out of no where. They turn at angles you never thought they could...they lean towards the ground...the make waves in the air....or simply disappear into the sky. If that wasn't enough, the glass exteriors reflect sun's rays from every possible direction right into your eyes, till you start getting weird bright flashes in your head.

After the shock and awe ride from the hotel, how on earth was I supposed to see that tiny little step that came out of no where and tripped me and made me see a whole new set of stars...

So with an aching cheek, a purple shoulder and a painfully swollen hand began my trip in Dubai. Apart from the glitz and the sheikhs...it almost felt like home...probably pre-partition home...considering the large Indian, Pakistani and Bangladeshi diaspora.

With one weekend in hand to check out Dubai, we decided to make the most of it. So our first Friday was spent shopping for 7 hours straight at the famous Dubai mall (whoever said Dubai was a shopper's paradise was solely talking about the variety...the prices are crazy)...post which we ended up in a colleague's friend's house and had the most amazing time ever! Since IIFT I hadn't gotten together with interesting people and just talked away about almost everything under the sun right through the night! It was brilliant!

The next day we decided to go for the much heard of desert safari. So off we went "Dune Bashing" in Land Cruisers, followed by bike rides and camel rides in the desert...and then the whole desert camp feel...complete with Lebanese food, sheesha, falconry and a belly dancer!

Driving down the roads at night is even more amazing, as the city cools down...and the buildings light up...the exotic Burj Al-Arab changes shades ever so often...this city indeed never sleeps...

My best moment there however took place when I was coming back on the last day from my final shopping trip to one of the malls. I got a Pakistani driver, gave him the wrong address and then shouted at him for making me get lost. But he was the best! He patiently called his friend, found out what I was talking about in punjabi, patiently explained how I had got it all wrong...and then told me all about his family that had spread across the globe. He was from Sialkot, from where my grand mum has come too...and so we discussed how the partition had been the worst idea ever...and how the leadership was at fault...

I feel an instant connection with Pakistanis...whether I meet them in Buffalo or Dubai..maybe because one set of my grandparents came from there...Don't know...but would love to go there sometime...

It Rock-ied!

September 20th,12.35 am: As the wheels of the plane finally hit the ground...I looked at my colleague in joyous disbelief...We had finally come back home (It seemed impossible 24 hours ago...when we were re-arranging luggage at San Francisco airport...and then carting super heavy bags to the farthest Gate there!)

Delhi is brilliant! The air smells awesome...like always :) ... I was seeing my family after 3 whole months! The roads of Delhi are beautiful! The entire trip felt like a distant dream all of a sudden...To think just a week ago I was galavanting on the streets of SFO...

September 13th, 11:00 am: The 9 of us finally got up and got ready to visit the city I'd heard so much about! It wasn't easy...being Sunday and all...but it was my last weekedn in Salinas, and I couldn't go back without going to San Francisco!

So off we went...and 2 hours of a sleepy car drive later...we finally reached the city. The streets of San Francisco are gorgeous...they remind you off a giant roller coaster! You go up a slope...till you reach a peak of sorts...and then just when you think you've reached the end of the earth (there are blind spots in the roads...when you reach a particular point...you can't see anything ahead of you! It's like you are purposely driving off a cliff!)...a steep downward drive begins...it was brilliant!!

So we climbed over mountains...drove past some very weird looking lounges (they had names like "Black Magic Voodoo Lounge")...and reached the famous Golden Gate Bridge!

The bridge is red ofcourse...and an architectural wonder if I ever saw one! We actually walked across the entire bridge! Never in my dreams had I thought I'd be doing something like that! The wind is so strong that you literally have to push against it to go forward! It was awesome!

That wasn't all! Next we ended up in what can only be described as paradise on earth...The Ghirardelli Square...Located at the Fisherman's Wharf...It is home to the bestest chocolates ever! (No offense to Lindt...I love you too :D ) ...So there we were ...standing before MOUNDS of chocolates of every kind...sampling their new caramel chocolates...feasting our eyes on GIANT chocolate slabs...and to commemorate the egyptian artifacts exhibition that was in town...they had chocolate pyramids and King Tutankhamuns!!!! It was a classic case of Egypt meeting Willie Wonka!

It was too late in the evening to check out much of anything else...so we got bundled into a massive SUV...and went home singing a mix of hindi songs..and Hollywood classics! Speaking of Hollywood...

September 5th, 10:00 am: My cousin and her husband picked me up from my hotel in Salinas...and off we were on a 350 mile ride to LA! Never thought that was going to happen...what with the severe cash crunch that I was facing! But there I was...speeding past the giant sand dune-like hills...going to a city I had heard so much about!! Enroute we stopped over at Santa Barbara...my mum used to love watching the soap that went by the same name... and the city/town was adorable!

Finally reached the LA county where my other cousin lived...just to find her card covered with ashes (the forest fires had just begun to get under control)...it was a perfect little neighbourhood...where I met my perfect little niece for the first time! She had just turned 6!!

The next day...we all went to Santa Monica to meet my other aunt...the beach was GORGEOUS...it was all sand 'n' sun...and gorgeous people having loads of fun! After 2 and a half months of continental-ish food...I finally got to eat chaat and Indian stuff here! Just loved it all!!!

That wasn't all...what had begun as an awesome day...turned into fantasy as I made my first trip to Hollywood! It was unreal! There were people in costumes all over the place...the white letters stood out on the hill...the Kodak Theater looked forlorn minus all the stars and glitter...the streets had an air of celebration about them in general...and then there was the Star walk and cemented hand and foot impressions...I almost lost it when I saw Matt Damon's signature...never had I thought I'd ever be this star struck!!! Also saw Madame Tussauds wax museum!

On the way back we went to a place that was right out of the fairytales! Tiny cottages lined both sides of the road...holiday makers walked around at a slow easy pace...the giant windmill overlooked it all...it was Solvang...a tiny Dutch establishment in the middle of no-where! Just like the 17 mile pebble beach drive...

August 28th, 10:00 am: It was my first trip outside Salinas on the west coast...We went to a town called Monterey...and drove on further to what looked like an isolated stretch...It was the Pebble Beach...17 mile drive...with 24 tourist sites...including some gorgeous beaches! It was a dreamy affair as always...with mansions being built into mountain sides...like they had always been there...the gorgeous blue pacific ocean on one side...and red 'n' green vegetation covered hills on the other. These were cold beaches...and we practically froze when we went into the watre...but it was so totally worth it!!! They were 17 miles of bliss...you feel closest to God when you see a natural wonder so beautiful!!

Speaking of natural wonders...the Rockies are a different class altogether!

August 19th, 11:30 pm: I had been up since 4 in the morning to catch my flight from Buffalo to Salinas...as a result...instead of sticking my nose to the window in the place and taking in the scenery...I had slept through most of the trip...thankfully woke up about half an hour before landing...and stuck my nose to the window...expecting the luscious green of the forests and blue of the rivers in US...got a total shock! The terrain was rising up...there were scattered mountains...almost like scars in the earth...and sand covered peaks...that looked like snow from up in the sky! The only thought that came in my mind was that I didn't want to crash there ever! After a while, when I finally got used to it...I started finding it pretty (just another example of my very fickle nature)...it was a totally other side of nature than I had been witnessing earlier...but it was a powerful image none the less!

And finally came San Francisco...The landing is gorgeous! You feel like you are about to land in water itself...when suddenly the air strip appears out of no where!

September 20th, 3:00 am: Having unpacked..and settled in completely...I smiled as I thought of the days gone by...Loved it then...and love being back home even more after so long!!!

Finally Made it!

Carrie Bradshaw said it...but I didn't believe it...One of my bestest friends said it...Still didn't believe it...My cousins said...Ted and Barney said it...Lily said it..Ross said it...Rachel said it...OK you get the picture...

New York is AWESOME!

A fortunate chain of events led to it ofcourse...First...I got to know that my best buddy from school lives in New York...got excited...but doubted how I would ever afford my flight tickets...After all...Chicago was pretty far away from New York...I wished I were in Buffalo...

No sooner had I thought that...the company told me pack your bags and get your butt to Buffalo...so far so good :)

Then...the airlines that brought me from Chicago to Buffalo broke the handle of my suitcase...They didn't replace my suitcase..but...Ta-Da..they gave me a 150$ E-certificate that could be redeemed against any flight!

So I got cheap tickets...got to see my friend after ages...and yes...I got to New York!!! It was brilliant!!

It is one amazing city! Vibrant...energetic...not too clean as compared to the other towns I'd been to (makes you feel at home :D)...but it doesn't have that annoying Bombay run-for-your-life feel to it...

It's pedestrian friendly (if you ignore the speeding cabs with desi drivers :P)...you see people of all shapes and sizes walk around everywhere...it is one city where you finally feel at total peace with the way you are...it sort of encourages you to be who you are...It is literally a pot pourrie of people from across the world!

So I breakfasted in Sarvana Bhawan...lunched on fruit near a meteorite they had presevred in one of the museums...had tea with yummy tacos...and dined on Italian (though pears just don't go with pasta)...

I met school mates I hadn't seen since school ended...

Went to Liberty Island and Finally saw the statue I have been seeing all ove rthe place since I was a kid...

Visited the much heard of Central Park...the monumental New York Public Library...saw dinosaurs and blue whales come to life at the Museum of Natural History... got lost in the most beautiful pieces of art created by man...that were preserved in the Metropolitan Museum of Art..TOUCHED Egyptian artifacts...and believe it or not...ate Indian-chinese food at a restaurant called Chinese Mirch!

All thanks to my friend of course...who makes the most awesome and proactive tour guide ever!

I was half dead by the time I stepped into my office on Monday...where I walked into doors...looked blankly at my boss everytime he said anything...and slept through a major meeting...

But believe me...it was worth it...

Sunday night...as I stood by the East River...and watched the New York skyline light up in the dark...I knew I'd be back there someday...

But for now...I have to carry 30+ kg of luggage in a broken suitcase (my dad got sentimental about it...doesn't want me to leave it here...one of his favourite bags) all the way to the west coast...to the tiny town of Salinas...Let's see where this journey takes me...

Of Giant Waterfalls...and Dancing Rainbows..

I always loved fairytales...and I think I'm finally living one too now...No...Not in love...just FINALLY got to see the Niagara Falls!

It is unbelievable! They were majestic...even from a distance. The closer you get to the Falls...the windier it gets...and you can already feel the mist in your face.

Hundreds of tourists thronged the place...but for once....I didn't mind the crowds...

After about half an hour of waiting...the time finally came. So we dawned our blue robes (er...raincoats)...and stepped into the majestic "Maid of the Mist"...and off we were into Dreamland!

The mist is intense...our faces were drenched within minutes of being out there...and then...people gasped...as the first faint rainbow was spotted over the first stretch of falls...It was breathtaking!

And then the ferry glided forward towards the "Horse Shoe" falls(called so because of the arc/horse shoe shape they form). We could see the people on the Canadian side of the border gaze at the falls with as much wonder...and then...another gasp came from the crowd...A rainbow had appeared right by the side of our boat...not a faint-can-see-a-few-colours-kind...but a full on Arc...it had appeared in the mist...just as we approached the heart of the horseshoe falls ...

Imagine this...you have only seen the Niagara Falls in google images so far...you have no idea that you will ever see it in your life...and then you find yourself...right in the middle of what can only be described as nature at its most powerful...yet gorgeous best...with a rainbow by your side...and a few more lining the falls...

If that isn't a fairytale...I don't know what is...

Life is beautiful :)

And Hello Buffalo :)

Here's a discovery I've made (If not believing what a hundred people have been telling you...and then discovering something to be true is a discovery...)...Towns in the US look all the same! Towns/cities/villages...whatever I've been hanging around in...If you'd blindfolded me and taken me out of Mettawa and let me out in Buffalo...I swear I wouldn't have known!

All the pretty houses, cute babies...greenery...and what not I'd said Bye to there...they are exactly the same here! It's better in fact because I'm walking distance from all the departmental stores (STILL haven't gone to Walmart...criminal offence!).

So life goes on...work gets better...relatives are coming down to Buffalo from Toronto...and I'll finally get to see the Niagra Falls!!!

As for football is concerned...I have been watching a lot of girly football...In the US...girl fooball is considered pretty cool! Stanford women Vs California something....But they are shrill...So Club America Vs Inter Milan was a refreshing change...till Inter Milan lost to amateurs in the penalties! Maurinho's face was worth looking at...don't think it was live...but loved it nevertheless!

Weird things happening in the sporting world alright...Flintoff apparently ended England's 75 year old wait! Thrilled for them!

And to wind up...TODAY is the 40th Anniversary of the Big Foot on the Moon...On 16th they merely took off...So much for my love for it...(though it was a big step that they took in the figurative sense :D)... Happy Birthday Moony Foot!

Goodbye Mettawa :(

For the first time in a long time I feel awful leaving a place (OK not that long..happened at IIFT last)...It's my last day here in Mettawa...and after an awesome month...it feels almost like home...

Gave away my left over groceries to people who still have time left here...left the bucket I lovingly bought at the Dollar store...Said my goodbyes to the fairytale houses, cute babies, awesome office, and colleagues...Sat on my suitcase and finally got it to shut...and now it's literally leaving on a jet plane...Don't know when I'll be back again...

Anyway...off to Buffalo tomorrow...with all its "Don't go out after 4 in the evening alone" stories...Hoefully it'll turn out to be just as awesome...and will be writing a similar mail for it in August :)

But in the US...Chicago will always be my first Love :)...Hope I get to come here again :)

Moony All the Way...

"That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind".... 40 years ago on this very day Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin set foot on the moon(He got the name "Buzz" coz his little sister mispronounced Brother as Buzzer according to Wiki)!

I wasn't there 40 years ago ofcourse, but I remember obsessing over it during my I-was-born-to-Be-An-Astronaut phase. The feelings came right back when I visited the Planetarium here last Sunday...they were celebrating the Man on the Moon phenomenon all month...and had awesome setups...instruments...galaries ...and EVERYTHING about the Mars Pathfinder...instruments I could actually TOUCH...ancient astronomy lessons...ancient astronomy student diaries!!! It was a dream come true (except for their 3-D show..such a disappointment!)

The moon...an inspiration for poets...a hope for lovers (at least in the movies and all things theatrical)...a hope for the forlorn too (The moon and the stars are always the same wherever you go or whatever you are going through)...and I swear to God...because of the lack of pollution here.. it looks MUCH bigger and MUCH closer to earth from where I am... It is gorgeous ...

Remember the scene in Apollo Thirteen...Tom Hanks keeps playing hide and seek with the moon using his thumb...and then he comes close enough...but cannot land...could be a metaphor for a lot of things in a lot of lives...Afterall...at the end of the day...We all wish for the moon...

Anyhow...getting to the point...a deluge of media coverage going on here today (16th July)celebrating the 40th Birthday of the Mighty Footprint...so I thought I should have something to remember it with....Really don't know where I'll find the moon right now...so thought i'd write about it :)

Chicago Times ... Contd

Finally went downtown! All by myself...in the gorgeous city that's Chicago! It's a whole new experience figuring out things on my own! Coming from a superbly protective family, and a darling dad who says "Be more independent" and then makes all the boulders on your pathway vanish without telling you, I never thought I would be actually roaming about another continent all by myself someday!

So I took a train from the Mettawa station (First thing I did was blow up a lot of money going to the wrong station! The ONLY time I've been taken for a ride here...happened to be one of the 2 Indian Cabbies I met! Though the other was a gem of a man!). Anyhow...a far cry from the trains in Mumbai...I travelled sitting down, in an extremely clean and air conditioned compartment, surrounded by the old and young, watching the greenery roll past me as the train sped to Chicago.

Once I reached town, I decided to get more adventurous and figure out the bus routes (something I've never done even in my own city, leaving apart the DU days...besides, cabs are WAY too expensive here :D).

And so ... it was My Day Out in Chicago ... with gorgeous skyscrapers...REALLY cute kids...fairly cute men (yeah...finally saw them :D) and a spring in my step. Went about like a tourist...with a massive camera hung around my neck (dropped the camera idea next day...way easier and more enjoyable to walk without it).

It was a perfect day...went for a tour...sped to the 94th floor of a skyscraper to get a 360 degree view of Chicago...visited the "Giant Bean" at the Millenium Park...and got back home...dog tired...but crazily happy.

Next day was even better! Architectural tours don't give you a view of the skyline and a feel of the city...as much as the grassy slopes outside the Planetarium do!

It is a beautiful green stretch between the Shedd Aquarium and the Adler Planetarium...at the bank of River Michigan...directly in front of the Chicago skyline...It is one of the most heavenly experiences I've ever had! With the cool wind (ya..not breeze) blowing gently across your face...the grass all green and spongy beneath you...the crystal clear blue waters in front of you...awesome white speedboats cutting through the water with all their might...and then...the skyline... you have to be there to believe it...

Everything was wonderful...and I never thought 24 days staright away from home would be alright (IIFT being the ONLY exception to the rule!)...but I'm in love with this place...with my cooking (Ya...got my count of burnt (literally to charcoal) dishes upto three today)...pity I'm leaving soon...I hear Buffalo isn't half as safe as this town (and Chicago has a shootout a day!)...

Well...time for a new city...a new adventure...and a Looooong overdue reunion with one of my Best Friends in New York over one of the weekends!

Hope to see you again Chicago...

Chicago Times

It has been nearly 3 weeks and I haven't blogged about Chicago yet...SHAME on me! Because it is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L....actually Mettawa is...a town on the outskirts of Chicago (I am YET to go downtown!).

For all of you who are Star World/Movies/HBO freaks...imagine living in one of those channels...THAT is what this feels like! Mettawa is unbelievably green (though not greener than Munich where I had a stop over...THAT is like heaven on earth...like what earth was meant to be!)...Anyhow...The roads are smooth and pretty...surrounded by trees so green that you can keep staring at them forever (though I'm told it's all white snow and no foliage in the bitter winters that this city faces).

The homes...they are Perfect! It's the neighbourhoods depicted in The Wonder Years...with a hundred times prettier houses and cuter babies and gorgeously groomed dogs!

The shopping malls can be lived in...and Shiv Sena will freak out if it ever gets here and checks out people's clothes (or the lack of it)...figures be damned...Americans will wear whatever they find :P

Then ofcourse, there is the odd experience or two...

You call 911 accidentally and don't give it a thought (the outside dialling code in the hotel is 91..and there's many a slip between the other digits :D)....Just to get a lot of banging on your door and the receptionist panicking outside...having gotten calls from the police fearing the worst!

Or the day when I ordered POPCORN...and ended up with Porn on my TV...

Or today...when I aimed the Starbucks cup opening wrongly at my mouth and got tonnes of hot chocolate on one of my fave shirts!

Life is good...office is gorgeous and at walking distance from my place...I am learning how to cook (FORCED to since I have a kitchen and Americans are hardcore non-veggies!)...

I am Lovin' it :)

The Intellectual Times of India!

"America will do whatever it can to keep chaos alive in the world...or where else will it sell its weapons......??"

"Terrorism is just a symptom...till they address the root cause, which is education, lack of work opportunities...people will senselessly continue to kill.."

" Don't say mosques and madarsas are terror hubs...it's a blasphemy against all Muslims...when people start taking weapons inside mosques...they become nothing but terror hubs...and those people who kill innocents and violate peace in the world ... are not even considered Muslims."

These profound statements came from none other than my office cab driver! The conversation started pretty randomly...my colleague and I had been wondering which of the two..between Sunnis and Shias...were the more agressive sort? My driver, being a devout Muslim, soon joined in.

You can get your dose of knowledge from anywhere during the day I realized...I probably learned more in that one and a half hour ride than I had done in office that day!

So we discussed the whole gamut of questions...terrorism...America...Taliban...the fact that all Muslim terrorist groups were at some time (usually the initiation period) funded by the US...Chechnya...Taliban..Al Qaida...the man had an opinion on everything! Mostly logically sound ones!

We even came to Muslim traditions..." 4 wives...and no more allowed...you are allowed ATMOST 4 wives," he said self-righteously...Whatever happened to commitment to one person we asked..."Like you guys are committed to one person all your life," he snorted....Valid point!

He did however explain the full commandment...you are allowed more than one...ONLY if the current wife allows it...in the last 400 years, none of his ancestors had had more than 1 wife!

Another point of dissent was "Talaq Talaq Talaq"...How can you justify that we asked...there have got to be some constitutional rights given to the poor woman...and how can just saying "Talaq" 3 times end things?

He explained all about "Meher"...the amount the father of the bride decides on...and which is to be provided to the bride as promised by the groom's family...Accorsing to him there were provisions for all these things defined...by their religion and the Muslim Personal Law Board...as for the triple Talaq..."Once you decide to separate only..what's the point of all the courtroom drama..,"...he said with a wry smile...Point taken sir !

So on and so forth the banter continued...I was never anti-Muslims...but now I saw them in a whole new light...

Been keeping my eyes and ears open ever since...our driver was more awesome than a lot of people I've met before! Long live our country! :)

Of Mulayam and our Youth...

Elections are back, and so are the promises...the weirdest being SP's "Ban English schools and computers and all other machinery that gives unfair advantage to the rich" rubbish. When I read it the first time, I thought it was a strange output of my forever sleepy countenance. But no...the man was actually promising to take us back to the pre-industrial revolution era. To top it all, Nafisa Ali (who I did respect until now) and Sanjay Dutt (ya don't really care bout him) supported this junk!

Seriously, what exactly is Samajwadi Party's gameplan for the coming years? Reduce UP into a MUCH worse condition for the next 5 years, and promise to bring computers/ machines and English into the state in the subsequent elections? It is alarming to say the least!

And you know what's even more alarming than this? When the exalted "youth" of the country were asked for their comments on this, they all seemed to equate it with the annual "Ban Valentine's Day" ritual that we witness regularly. For God's sake you Roadies/Splitsvilla obsessed freaks, it is NOT the same thing! Wonder what the youth of UP have to say about this...never thought I'd see such dumbing down of people... for all the English, computers and technology that we are exposed to...

Delhi!

Do you know what is the first thing I do when my flight lands from Mumbai to Delhi (and they finally let us out of the craft after going round 'n' round in circles for half an hour :D) ?? ... I breathe in deep... It is amazing...the air in Delhi smells like something else altogether...You can smell the remnants of winter, and a hint of spring...and then ofcourse...there is the awesome smell of planes all around you...and the lack of humidity...it is DIVINE...it's like I had been holding my breath for months at a stretch in Mumbai...and I am FINALLY able to breathe! It feels AWESOME!

So I'm back in Delhi...for good :)... Home feels all the more amazing, and the enjoyment is all the more intense, because I'm not doing the countdown (3 more days and I have to go back...2 more...you get the point!)... Everyone is still pampering me ( apart from my bro...who will NOT give me the remote...and continues to worship that @#$@#!$#@$#@$ Raghu Ram)... Food has never been better ... CNG ensures that no one thrusts smoke down my throat on traffic lights even if I'm in an auto... I just met up 2 of my old room mates from IIFT ... AND visited PVR Saket after aeons for "Confessions of a Shopaholic" for 50 bucks in a multiplex :D! Life can't get better :D .. Touch wood :)

Feels great to be writing again... I go AWOL from blogspot for more than 2 months at a stretch... it just shows I've lost it!

It's back to blogging... back to eating good stuff... back to breathing air without killing my lungs...it's back to LIFE!!

Long Live Delhi! :) :) :)

Yeh Hai Mumbai Meri Jaan!

2 months 10 days. That's the amount of time I've lived in Mumbai...this time...really lived ... Summers I spent holed in a room, oblivious of the city that this is. This time I swore I would move around more. I don't know if that was a wise thing to do or not...illusions are shattered, innocence to some extent takes a hit, starry eyed-edness goes for a toss, and you long for the sense of security you got back home/in the hostel. I never thought I'd say it, but I actually felt safer in Delhi. Time to bust some myths:

1) Guys in Mumbai are no better than guys in Delhi. They stare...gape...open-mouthed...at anything that looks like a girl. Yes, they pass comments, put their hands where they shouldn't in crowded trains, and leer around anywhere and everywhere.

Gone are the days when you could move around in Mumbai unscathed by the leering eye...Men will be men.

2) I thought only Delhi Punju jats moved around in gaudy clothes, wearing dark glasses at night, playing music loud enough to make you want to wave your fist angrily at them whenever they pass you...Wrong again...almost everyone in Mumbai loves doing that. Gaudy is in...Sober people definitely don't hang around too much...sigh...

3) Band Stand sucks. Totally. You come away feeling totally disgusted...coz there's no sea to see...just extremely openly mushy couples everywhere...ughh! To think I went all the way! I thought Shah Rukh's house would be the saving grace...but you can barely see it over the gates (Don't blame him...with the hordes of people standing outside...yours truly stayed at quite a distance like the lady she is :D)

4) Okay..this isn't a myth...something we all knew...there are TOO MANY people in Mumbai...It drives me nuts...Went for shopping to Bandra yesterday...and at the end of the day...simply the sight of people standing together drove me NUTS...

When my parents tell me "Don't go here...don't go there...coz it's a lonely stretch"...I laugh it off...Tell me ONE place in Mumbai where there aren't so many people, and I will bless you from the bottom of my heart!Hell...Gateway of India is crowded at 7 in the morning!!

5) Hang around in Colaba around 10 at night...and you see the strangest mix of people. I swear I've never seen such a thing in my life....

Prostitutes...small children...cross-dressers...old couples...all walk around, frequently crossing each other. The famous Leopold's overflows...beer...people...call girls...all in abundance...

I've ended up sounding too pissed off...but then...I am! You end up feeling disgusted at the end of each day. There's only so much you can take of people running like the world would come to a stop if they didn't, hordes attacking train entrances...almost creating a stampede every time a train stops at the station...Empty or not...people have to push-pull, kill others....it's crazy (and this is despite the fact that I travel opposite to the traffic flow!)

As if the mauling weren't enough, you are constantly clutching your bag because of all the horror stories you've heard. Get home, hop out to grab a cup of coffee...and you are introduced to a world of prostitutes, drunkards, conmen (yeah...got Rs. 500 from me coz I believed his sob story...found the jackass a few days later looking for a new victim and screamed at him!).

There's so much poverty...it kills you. You see an over-the-top gorgeous corporate house one moment, and abject poverty the next. The taller the building, the worse the condition of the slum that follows.

You help one guy and end up getting cheated...you don't know who to trust...and new office life on top of that...where everyone smiles a lot...but their eyes say something else most of the time...and for some reason they think you don't know what's actually going on in their minds!

Ok...enough of bad things...good things happen too.

Marine Drive for one is amazing (if you go at a time when the cars aren't honking your ears off and people aren't bumping into you everywhere).

The same women who almost kill me while getting into the train, shift over and invite me to sit down despite getting squished in the process.

Some well-meaning men exist too...like the one who told me to move out of the empty compartment that he was leaving and shift to well..a more crowded one...when he got off.

The auto-wallah who took me all over Bandra...and showed me all the shopping places taking the shortest routes possible when he realized I was new to the town.

Some days (very few of them)...I could swear I'm at home in this city...but the illusion is shattered soon enough...and you feel desperate to move out of the self-centred existence that you are leading and just doing something for someone....whether it is the giggling girl wearing bright pink revealing clothes who goes to Leopold's every night to earn a living, or the one with dark circles I found crying in a corner on Sunday morning, or the 10 year old who tries to sell me cheap raakhis on the train...or the old lady who can barely walk, but tries to sell me home made mawa cakes...

One minute I want to run away...the very next moment...I want to take these people away from their current existence to someplace safe.

Never in my life have I felt so lost and helpless. There are too many questions...too few answers...

Behind each glittering light lies a world of deceit, behind each colgate smile...lies god knows how much lies...

Brings to mind the song from CID...

"Aye Dil Hai Mushkil Jeena YahanZara Hat Ke Zara Bach Ke, Yeh Hai Bambai Meri Jaan"

Blast from the Past

Ever hung around enough with your grandparents and heard the stories about the good old days…when community scored over individuals, people did everything slower, reveled in each moment…and definitely were happier back then than in this high speed, rushed up existence that we lead today?

Well…. I had the …ummm…misfortune (tried really hard to say ‘privelege’ I swear!)…of experiencing what the world must be like 40 years ago…and I can tell you…I almost killed someone.

What brought this on you ask? It was my forced trip to 2 post offices with my grandmother’s Post Office Savings Account Passbooks.

I like things to happen fast…I want my food fast…I want people to come to the point fast…I prefer T-20s to test cricket and Football to cricket for the same reasons…Hearing someone beat around the bush and standing in lines…these two things bring the Devil out in me (In IIFT I would agree to do the entire project sometimes…if only my partner would take the print outs in the end from the perennially overcrowded printer!)…Anyways where was I…Oh yes…The Post Office…

Trip 1: Area Post-Office for an Updation of the passbook:

The room was puny…Even one person alone in there would feel claustrophobic all by himself…but then…we are Indians…and we “adjust”….So there were 4 people sitting there…under 1 single fan…staring vacantly into space and occasionally talking to discuss some “office gossip” (one of them had been hauled up by their Boss for something I couldn’t catch and all of them were pretty sure he was a dead man)…That wasn’t all. A whole lot of the remaining space was crammed with dirt and web covered tottering piles of “files”…There was still some more space left…so they put in two computers that the men never touched….and to top it all…squeezed under one of the biggest tables there was a Birla Generator that looked big enough to light up that entire basti…

Anyways…got my passbook updated (all wrong as I was soon going to find out…)…got stared at by the other 3 men (alright I look scary, so sue me!)…and got out of the hell hole…just to get into a bigger one…

Trip 2: “Head” Post Office

This was much bigger…a lot more fans…a lot more space…and hence…a lot more shelves, drawers, files, people...lines…I gingerly toed the line of my once a year explosive bout of anger….

Stood in the line for 45 minutes…having gotten hardly any closer to my turn…when ofcourse “Lunch” was declared at 1:30…and the man in the make-shift cubicle…rambled out saying he’ll be back at 2…which he wasn’t.
So I decided to take the Pass Books from Trip 1 to one of the other offices in this building to get the readings tallied…Ever seen “Office-Office”…and “Usha ji”??? Well before me sat 7 Usha jis…having just opened their various tiffin boxes. Ignoring them I went inside and asked some dude to do the needful…He smirked and said, “Yeh toh Madam hi karengi, bahar jaake boliye”. So went out once again and begged the ladies to finish my work…they looked at me as if I’d lost it and told me to come back after they’d finish (after which the solemnest and slowest looking lady took the smallest morsel of food…and began to chew it 36 times…aaaargggghhh)

It was 1:45…so I went back and rejoined my line…which had a new competitor…a middle-aged lady who had duped the people in front of me and dumped all her work on the extra slow guy’s table…People shouted, shoved…to no avail…the woman was adamant….She tried to make some sort of conversation with me, and despite bare minimum response from my side, I got to know that her daughter had just passed out of IMI, got a job, and that she knew a junior of ours at IIFT! Truly irritating!

By now I was mauling the cheque I had brought along to encash, had learnt up all my account numbers in sheer frustration, and almost broken the glass pane that separated me from the “official” area.

I can’t go on anymore…coz just thinking about it makes me mad…but after 2 and a half HOURS of standing in lines, hearing stories about postal workers committing suicides (Why THEM??? We should be the ones hanging ourselves from their rather long-stemmed ceiling fans), and of course hearing one of the Usha jis discuss the virtues of slow and steady work…I finally got the work done.

It was the biggest victory I’d ever had over myself…and learnt a couple of things….Patience is NOT a virtue…it totally sucks…and ATMs are there for a reason…if only my grandparents understood that and overcame their suspicions about machines…sigh…

Love ‘em, Hate ‘em, But You Just Can’t Ignore Them Mate!

The Aussies have arrived on Indian soil, soon after our trip Down Under that was more than fraught with controversy! One would have thought they’d be hated out here…but I was so wrong…about others and about myself!

As the Indian Premier League began to make waves thanks to an impressive marketing campaign, lesser mortals like you and I began to choose our favourite teams.

“ Mohali rocks,” declared I…Because of the “Punjab” factor? Not quite….Yuvi and Pathan? Er..No…Greatest admiration for Ness/Preity? Not at all. There was just one reason…Brett Lee…The Aussie who murdered any hope for victory for our team quite a few times…but there it was…Just this once…I was going to support him guilt-free (having finally gotten over the fact that he married Liz Kemp and even has a baby now).

Others chose teams on similar grounds…. “Deccan Chargers rule…Gilchrist and Symmonds will see them through!”….The same Symmonds we were cursing a little while ago mind you…

“Delhi Daredevils man….McGrath is back!!”

“I’m all for Warny…he’s the best”

“Kolkata will rule…they’ve got Punter”

Of course there were some who were simply loyal to the cities they considered home…but you get the general idea.

That’s not all…we went ahead and did what the Aussies couldn’t do despite trying so hard…we got Bhajji banned for the rest of the league matches :D (Yet to get Symmonds’ comments on this one!)….He deserved it I’m sure (Though Sreesanth can be quite a provocation with all his unnecessary screaming on the field…perform man…and reserve the crap for international matches)….

There you go…we showed true love and support for the people who were considered the villains of the cricketing world not so long ago…and we carried out their hearts’ desires to the fullest. Atithi-devo-bhava to the max I say…

IPL is truly serving its purpose of creating camaraderie among cricketers across nations alright….I only hope it doesn’t destroy whatever little of it was left in our national team!

Phir Reservations …Uff..!

When I was busy giving my MBA entrances, the reservation issue became a standard joke. Most of us went around tracing our family trees, trying to discover atleast ONE tribal root (there HAD to be something tribal about all the jhingala weirdness in my family!)..but to no avail. In the end, some of my colleagues, despite their much poorer performance in the exams and despite the fact that they had the social standing to attend more coaching institutes than I had, got calls (ALL 6) from the IIMs…which had shunned me with my 95 percentile (there were others who got shunned with 97/98 too..). Maybe I could have (Should have) studied harder…hell… there can be a lot of maybes…but I wouldn’t have had the slightest of complaints had the less deserving not got in either. The whole thing sadly left a bitter taste in the mouth.

It’s been a slap in the face alright for Arjun Singh and whoever else is supporting the 27% scam of his. For once the Supreme Court ruled in favour of the masses rather than our rather pathetic ruling diaspora…Yet it remains to be seen how effective the ruling finally will be once the definition of what constitutes “creamy layer” is frozen.

Our politicos thought they’d had it easy…get 49.5% of the seats reserved in the best institutes of the country for the “backward” classes...and get their kids in without the slightest of hassle…all in the name of “greater good”. But the fact remains, that the corrective measure in graduate and post-grad courses that the ministers are trying to introduce, is futile, considering that a majority of those we are trying to help are primary/high school dropouts….leaving us with the “moneyed-backward” classes, trying to take advantage of a heart-wrenchingly flawed system.

Given that, who now will occupy those 27% seats? Statistics do not support the fact that there are enough needy OBCs who have reached higher education levels to fill in the 27%. So are fake tax returns easy to get hold of?? Or will the definition of “creamy layer” allow one and all to access those seats??

In the “We The People” episode dealing with the reservation issue, the dean of IIT Delhi clearly stated where the flaw lay. He said that he, who had been brought up in dire circumstances, had low cost government primary education in Tamil Nadu, to thank for his status today. However, he interestingly pointed out, that all those schools had now been shut, leaving hundreds of poor children with no alternatives. Why?? Because the poor there no longer made up the votebank of the ruling politicians….and thus there needs were not catered to anymore.

Ummm…remind me once again what is it that we are really protesting against??? The ones who can actually justify this reservation hullabaloo haven’t even got proper schooling…so who exactly will snatch our seats from us? Back to the corrupt offspring of the corrupt classes…someone will fill up those seats…they can’t leave so many seats empty!

Every one with the slightest sense has gone blue in the face repeating the obvious…improve primary education, give scholarships to those who can’t afford higher education instead of reserving seats and leaving loopholes to enable the fake certificate manufacturing industry to thrive.

It’ll take time to clean up the system of course. Till then, listen to your folks people and work harder…50.5% is still up for grabs…make the most of it…and to wind the seemingly endless monologue…take heart from the fact that there are a few decent folks in the world who have the pride and self respect to stand up for themselves and do not abuse a useless system unnecessarily. A senior of mine in school belonged to the SC category…but gave the IIT entrance as a “Gen”…ranked 64 at the All-India level…and am sure we’ll hear his name as one of the tycoons soon....

Hope still exists in this otherwise corrupt country of ours…at least no one is banning my blog just because I dared to raise my voice against the fools who dare to call themselves our leaders (excluding Manmohan Singh…You rock…just try not buckling under Big Mamma’s influence)….Unlike in Russia…where it was shutters down for the Moskovsky Korrespondent who dared to spice up our otherwise mundane existence with some gossip pertaining to the ex-Russian Prez and his love for the gymnast! Sudden financial troubles seem to have developed in that organization and the financier backed out….sigh…why do they bother to cover up with such stupid excuses …

Nostalgia....

You know that feeling when you really, REALLY miss something...but you know you cannot have it...and it leaves you feeling very very sad? That's nostalgia for you...coming and whacking you where it hurts most...

I got that feeling today...and boy with a vengeance...!I knew from quite some time now that there would be no going back to IIFT...it has been coming on for a long time...but today...the whole idea of not being able to go back as a student again (unless I do my Ph.D in some trade related thing...which is a BIG no no coz it makes nostalgia feel like the best thing on earth)...it is unbearable...I want to go back :(

It all started with a bottle of deoderent I bought this morning...it was my fave in IIFT...and had been out of stock for a while...My nose just took me straight back to the bed in my hostel room...the sounds...the smells...the whole feeling...it just came rushing back!

Anyhow...fought off the feeling till sometime back...when I got down to ccp-ing a Maths assignment for my bro (penalty for taking the grape jelly icecream he'd got for himself...Put ice cream in front of me...and I go dumb and promise anything!)...well...the whole thing tugged at some more memories...1st Trisem....Humungous Maths assignment...all of us begging/borrowing/stealing (Yeah...STealing)...other people's completed assignments at 2:30 in the morning...trying to finish it before the 9 a.m class...I put on some music...and the Ipod ended up playing the very songs I used to be addicted to that year...What fun it was!!!

And now...with a whole new world waiting to open up before me (highly skeptical about it already thanks to the most soporific summers)...I can't seem to move on...

Maybe it's a passing phase...maybe by tomorrow morning I'll go back to cherishing the awesome time I'm having right now...maybe my Gtalk de-addiction withdrawal symptoms are causing this silly mood...

Whatever it is...those were the 2 most awesome years of my life...I can take the nostalgia...I just don't want to forget a single moment of the bestest days ever...

Curse of the Satisfied-Unambitious-Youngster

It is vacation time once again. After 2 years at IIFT...this is the longest I've been home at a stretch having nothing to go back to. I have a job yes...but that doesn't start till forever...And my continuing lack of interest in "Yellow Newspapers" has made me rather apprehensive of joining any place that deals with the stuff that those papers are made up of.

So decided to get my act together and find something to do...result...I discovered I can't do a damn thing unless there's the proverbial sword hanging on my neck. One by one I started taking up stuff to do...only to discover that it is too easy or too difficult or too boring...

1) Cooking: Since I'll be staying alone in Mumbai once again, I decided I'll learn how to cook. Motivator: Still haven't shed the pounds I happily loaded on last time, having eaten out day and night for a month 'n' a half!

So did what logic dictated...started hanging out more in the kitchen much to my mother's delight! But alas! The honeymoon period with subzees and chhauks got over fairly soon.Reason: Everything in a Punjabi household seems to be made of the same key ingredients! How they end up tasting so awesomely different when my mother makes it beats me, coz all the dishes I made tasted identical...no matter what subzee I used...

2) Exercising: Try this. Sit on your fat behind for over a month...doing absolutely nothing...then suddenly decide one day that you are growing too fat...so undertake a month's worth exercise that day (Kya pata...Kal Motivation Ho Na Ho)....

Actually...Don't try it...unless you want to limp around for the next one week...rubbing sore shoulders...having lost any desire to exercise ever again.

3)Getting creative: By this I mean REALLY creative...what gave me the bug? Watching Disney Channel 24/7 ( or whenever I can get the remote in a male-domineering house)...

So anyways...took up scissors...and loads of paper...and created a big mess. Took up some cross-stitching too (found an Anchor Cross STitch kit from when I was 8 I think!)...Lost interest...the doggy I was embroidering is currently 1-eared, playing with half a butterfly next to half a flower...so much for persistence and getting things completed (what jazz we come up with to get placed..)

4) Reading: The ONLY place where I have found some success! Started off and finished "Who Killed Daniel Pearl" and plethora of other books! The Pearl tale got me hooked to my new hobby...

5) Cutting out obscure things from the newspaper: This is absolute FUN! Inspired by what terrorism is doing to our world...I started keeping a scrapbook of all terror related things and India's defence prowess (recently digressed to real cute Christiano Ronaldo cut-outs and "15-days-to-a-slim-you" tips)

Apart from this...and a lot of obscure dreaming about fighting terrorists, becoming a witch overnight or getting super powers...there's not much going on...

Call it lack of ambition ("X's son", "Y's daughter"...they seem to be slogging so much more in holidays! How dare they put ideas into my family's collective head?! Boring gits!)...or simply inertia...but I am at my laziest best these days...and worse...I don't seem to mind it (except for the yearning for strange adventures mentioned above)...sigh...Anyone doing any better out there?

So long...Farewell...

It is an exceptionally clear bit of memory I've got from back in school. Our family was going somewhere...and as we inched ahead painfully on the Sri Aurobindo Marg...my father pointed towards the right and said.."IIFT is there...good place for MBA in International Business". "Though IIMs are what one should aim for," he said in the same breath.Frankly speaking...I had no idea what MBA was...being more interested in Aeronautics, FBI, and Journalism as career options (alternated religiously between the 3)...but "International Business" sounded way cooler than only MBA..whatever that was...IIFT sounded a better bet than the IIMs :D

But then I grew older...not particularly wiser...and like all others decided that CAT was THE exam to give...and IIMs were worth dying for...IIFT was long since forgotten.

But there it came up again...T.I.M.E said it was a great institute...so zi dutifully filled up the form. November 20th...I went and messed up my CAT, and on 27th with the last bit of ambition and self confidence snuffed out of me...I gave the IIFT entrance.

13th December...I was dressing up for a wedding when my best friend called and blabbered excitedly.."You...IIFT...you...congrats!"....I nearly choked...
One thing led to the other...and I found myself entering the gates for the first time to pay up (had happily locked my car keys in...sigh...signs of what was to happen regularly).

The moment I entered...I felt like I belonged here...the campus was small..and no big grassy football field like the one I had back in college...but I fell in love with the place....and the love affair continued...2 years went by faster than ever.

From being the reserved girl...who had never been out of her house for more than a couple of hours a day...I spent many a night under obscure streetlights on campus...in order to study in peace!

At the end of the 1st Trisem...studies were no longer that important...and I had developed the knack of studying with 5 other people and plenty of activity in the room!

Time went on...friends were made...relationships changed...NEW friends were made...some were just discovered in the fag end of my stay...but I know they are for keeps....

Night life was discovered...from sleeping at 10 religiously...I realized that the star-lit sky is a lot prettier at 3-4 in the morning...walks then are amazingly educative...Delhi roads are amazing to drive on post 1 in the night...24/7 is a boon...CCD is heaven...Big Chillz is the ultimate gastronomic delight...the laptop is a necessity...as is music...there are tonnes of amazing movies that are a lot more educative than any book you've ever read...What people do does NOT define them...there is always more to them than meets the eye...

My first party at IIFT was the first such event I had ever attended! Never before had I seen so many drunk people together at once!

I realized the importance of differentiating between following one's heart...and simply bowing to peer pressure...

That watching movies is most fun when you are doing it on the sly in the middle of a boring lecture...

That ....
I can go on forever...

Life at IIFT has alas come to an end...and I know that these have been the best 2 years of my life...Loads to look forward to again...but these memories will be cherished forever :)

Illusion...

Retreat...for once...mentally, not physically...try being honest and nothing but honest for a whole day...try it...Just hold back and watch yourself from the outside...

How many times do you smile when you don't want to? How many times do you jabber away to glory...all cheerful at the face of it...but mentally cursing the person or yourself..it doesn't matter...

The illusion you create to the world in general...try ripping it apart...

It is hard...very hard...imagine not laughing at a friend's joke coz you never found it funny...and you decided to stand your ground today for once...is it his fault that he's hurt? ...not really...it's yours...you should have told him that in the first place itself...

Don't humour yourself...don't humour anyone else...for one day...just ruthless honesty...bring down the facade...

Imagine if you wake up one morning...in a strange land...where no one knows you...and you can reach no one...you have no one to justify anything to...no one to prove anything to...you don't need to pretend what you aren't (hard...considering by now the line between what you are and what you pretend has nearly blurred)...you don't have to worry about your basic food/water/shelter...just do what you have to...what will you do?

Maybe I'm talking nonsense...movies do that to me...always...

But I keep going back to that scene in Fight Club where Brad Pitt holds a gun to the guy's head and says what is it that you really want to do...(It doesn't work without a gun I guess...or my imagination is just no good)...I still come up with a couple of probables (sigh...number crubching doesn't figure anywhere in that)...but not sure...still not sure...

But maybe that's OK...I will take my time and figure it out...if the world seems to know where it is going...doesn't necessarily mean I have to too, does it? If what 100 people think is normal becomes normal for all...we are nothing but a bunch of robots then...the remote being the 100 that set the trend...

What if theirs' too is a facade...say Hello to mine...I'll say Hello to yours...without anyone knowing what or who they actually are saying hello to. Sometimes they may get a feeling that something is amiss...but it's much easier to pretend all is well and same as before than actually shaking the hornet's nest, isn't it? Who knows if you will ever recover from the stings?

So together we weave the grand illusion...and are happy to get lost in it...but try retreating...like I said before...maybe you'll find it hard to get enmeshed again...

Flashback...

It started with an unusal request...one of my closest friends from school had sent me an orkut invite to "Join the Sandwich Club". Memories came gushing back. I got transported to my middle school days...when the 6 of us ... "Mystery Club" fanatics... and solemn believers in the adventures of "Famous Five" and "Secret Seven"... spent many a glorious spring/summer/autumn/winter afternoon "snooping" around that famous Aurobindo statue in school... looking for clues...to what I don't know...(vaguely remember thinking that someone had changed the direction in which the statue was facing!).

We had our codes...we had our "club" notebooks...we loved the same music and danced away endlessly to the same songs over and over again! When a classmate sent me "Theme for a Dream" by Cliff Richard today... I was totally overwhelmed...because that was the first English song I had fallen in love with when I was 9 or something...The 6 of us used to lounge around in each others' houses on the pretext of working on some project or the other...and spend a considerable time listening to music or reading books that transported us into a fantasy land... where we created our own stories...

We dressed up for Halloween...blew up one of the gang-members' neighbour's electricity supply by sending a rocket there on Diwali (it was an accident...but we trusted the craziest girl of the lot to light the damn thing!). We fought too...but made up soon enough...couldn't stay apart for too long..

We dreamt big then...and refused to fall prey to the pseudo standards set by the world...

I miss them all...the pranks we played...the games we invented...the books we read... and most importantly...the standards we set for ourselves...

Time to awaken that child again...

Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Hai Na Maa....

"Main kabhi batlata nahi

Par andhere se darta hoon mein Maa

Yun to main dikhlata nahi

Teri parwah karta hoon main Maa

Tujhe sab hai pata

Hai na Maa

Tujhe sab hai pataaaa

Meri Maa"

I can't get enough of this song...and everytime I hear it...my eyes well up...I'm not alone...my friends have been listening to this incessantly and calling up their mothers long distance :)

You can't help but reminisce about the time when you lay all your trust in your mother, unquestioningly followed her advice...the word "rebellion" wasn't in your dictionary...she knew best, and wanted the best for you...you would go to any lengths to please her...and get rewarded with that "mummy" hug and peck on the cheek. You would do something small like getting her a small birthday gift with your saved up money, but she would reward you by cooking all your favourite food on your return from school, as though you had done the greatest thing in the world. When you had a bad day, she could sense it before you told her....When you got hurt, she cried...When you did well, she rejoiced for you...

She was there planning your fifth birthday as though it were your coronation...She sang to you when you couldn't go to sleep...She read out your favourite bed time stories a thousand times because you asked her to...She stayed up all night when you fell sick and did your work even when she was sick...Her world revolved around you...

But your world stopped revolving around hers after a while...She was the same...but you changed...You wanted to be treated like a grown up...when in her eyes you were still that newborn who looked up at her for the first time and gave a toothless grin...You wanted to be "independent"...when she still saw you as the baby who had to be protected from the big, bad world outside...You wanted to know the "facts of life"...when she still saw you as an innocent toddler...

After all the years of rebelling and fighting, you realize that she knows you best really...even better than you know yourself...She learns to accept you for what you are...and smiles when you come up with the next outrageous idea...because she knows it is only a phase...

You ARE still her baby...she has raised you as best as she could...she trusts you...as you trust her...and knows you'll be alright...

Mothers are the best....Here's a BIG *hug* to all of them out there :)

Musings

We go about living our lives at 1/100th of our potential…things don’t have much meaning any longer…life becomes a mere routine… habits...ours and of others… threaten to choke us…kill us from within. You desperately wish you could break the monotony…yet something holds you back from sitting down and identifying the real cause of your discomfort…you are waiting for something to happen…to make life seem worthwhile…yet you don’t lift a finger to improve things…If you DO lift your finger…it is to turn on the laptop or the TV, and lose yourself in some fantasyland, in dreams that are just … dreams…You watch a movie, hear some songs, and feel temporarily relieved of that dread you’d been experiencing. But now…you are back to real life…fantasyland got turned off the moment you hit the “off” button on whatever device you were using…and you are back to yearning for something special to happen in your life, lamenting the lack of excitement in your own life…forgetting that movies are nothing but our lives…with the boring parts edited out.

Idle mind is the devil’s workshop they say…but when you are overcome by that debilitating inertia…you start believing that even a devil’s workshop would be welcome to lift you out of the nothingness that you feel...you feel lost, cut off from the rest…emotionally and mentally….you no longer feel strongly about anything…you once again start envying even the jehadis…who may have lost all reason, but atleast are truly passionate about something!You are forced to open your eyes, get out of the self-obsessed mode, and look towards others around you…they did always seem better off…so what’s driving them.? Blame it on your mood at that moment…but you find that everyone’s just passing time…escaping life…trying to postpone that moment when they have to sit down and confront what they truly feel…who they truly are…and you once again go back into the cramped, self obsessed world of your own thoughts and feelings…having lost all hope in mankind.

It is in moments such as these, that Hitler, terrorism, imperialism, emergencies, earthquakes, do-or-die sporting events…all begin to make sense.I’m not a sadist…but can’t help feel wonder at what happens to mankind when such catastrophes take place.

It took a Hitler to wake up people to life beyond their individual routine existences, and stand up for what is right….It took being forcibly taken as slaves by a bunch of foreigners, for our country to unite as a whole….It takes an emergency in Pakistan to unite the people in an extremely fragmented country….It takes a ban on the press in Pakistan to finally hear the sane voices of the Pakistani middleclass…which always believed in the right things but loved to play it safe….It took a football match to unite Iraqis across the war ravaged country….It took a Tsunami to bring people together in the true spirit of compassion….It took a Kargil War to bring people across religions together in our country….It takes true hardships to bring out our heroes….It takes a curb on our freedom….to bring out the best creative forces in people….

Ironic as it is, it takes Hell…for people to realize that they can create their own Heaven.

Rain Rain Come Again...

It's raining.The wind blows...caresses your face...ruffles your hair...it's blissful to walk around in a weather like this. Unlike other times...the wind does not chill you to your bones...it just refreshes you...it's awesome!

The campus sports a clean look...the smog and dust has been washed away... it's easier to breathe...

And then you get back to your room...and snuggle inside your quilt...everything around you is quiet...except the pattering of raindrops outside...A few floors above, someone starts playing the guitar. I smile...that was all that was missing...

No Monkey-Business This....

I thought Symonds had taken it rather well..all the monkeying business that Indian fans had subjected him to. Guess I had over-estimated the Aussies...they have finally shown their true breed...uhh...colour...uh...is that racial?

For God's sake...you can cuss like a sailor on the field, go around saying the F-word as if it were a part of the cricketing terminology...but calling somebody a monkey is not done? Since when did white men get so racially insecure?!

Poor Bhajji...feel rather sorry for him...with his English...anything he says can be interpreted in 5 different ways...banning him would be abuse of sorts against him.

On a more serious note, everyone seems to be feeling rather let down by a team we looked up to for great cricket. Ponting, Clarke, Symonds...and sadly enough Gilchrist too...they are no longer our heroes. It is Cricket that has lost in the entire mess...the spirit of the game is just gone.

I don't know why it came as a surprise though...In the 2003 World Cup... the South Africans were quoted saying that the Aussies are nothing but a bunch of actors who've gotten down to playing cricket. Their extremely convincing and misleading appeals have been very much a part of their gameplan. The umpires however were not party to it earlier...unfortunately that's no longer true...The way Umpire Benson looked helplessly at Ponting as Ganguly stood his ground after being declared wrongly out, and then passed on Ponting's "out verdict" to our star batsman...he might as well have been a 12th man on the Australian team...it was ridiculous. Not to mention Bucknor (Last time it was Hair...sigh...endless torture).

And now Ponting has the guts to say that abandoning the tour would be "a little extreme"... Sure...Adding on 4 test losses wrongly to our record overseas would be alright, wouldn't it? Scoring centuries after being falsely declared not out a billion times and appealing like a maniac while holding the ball to the ground is perfectly alright, ain't it?

It kills me to see Ganguly walk out helplessly, mouthing "This is cheating" to a remorseless Benson, and Dravid grimacing "Not Again"...just when he looks like he's found his form...

Making dumb childish complaints against a bowler who you feel threatened from was definitely uncalled for from the so-called world champions. The ICC, having ignored our pleas, having overlooked evidence provided by India in the matter, having admitted that none of the umpires heard a thing and yet going ahead with the ban, and not having withdrawn the umpires who wronged us again and again...has proved that if there are any racists in the world of cricket...they will be found on their own Board...

Whatever the Aussies say and do is OK...they get verbal diarrhoea and talk crap incessantly...that's ok too...Is this some sort of immunity you win along with the World Cup or something?

Down with the Aussies and Down with the ICC. And hell with the tour.

PS: A certain Ms. Padukone does not seem to be having a very good effect on our Prince from Punjab....Amid all the controversies and wrong decisions...he managed to get out for a duck for real! Shame on him!

Here's To You Kaka!

It was June 13, 2006...when Brazil played Croatia in the first round of the Football Worldcup in Berlin. As a one FIFA-old toddler, I knew just the newspaper-heroes in each team (Being 2-FIFA old hasn't changed that really!)...and Kaka was one of them. Had never seen him play for Milan, didn't recollect him from FIFA 2002 even (apparently he played just 1-2 games against sidey nations...and missed out on the finals when Scolari decided to send him as a Sub coz the refree didn't see him wave from the stands!)....but he was one of the cutest players I had ever seen :D...innocent, boyish looks...Boy-Next-Door...that's all he was as far as I was concerned!(much to the disgust of my bro who could be heard muttering "Girls" with the greatest disdain :D)

But then he scored....it was a long range goal... he caressed the ball into the net with his left foot...it was a beauty....and I was certain I loved him after that!

2 years have gone by... since I first saw him score ... and am glad he got the Ballon d'Or!!

Definitely deserves it more than Christiano...who despite his dream run this time...will remain in my black books for what he did to Rooney in the last World Cup .... Though he is still one of my heroes in Man U... little complicated...

Silent Night...

It's 3:30 a.m. ... and I have just returned from a not-so-fruitful attempt at finishing a term project with a team mate who was as interested in it as I am(read...not at all)...especially after having overeaten at a cheesy heaven, where we had all gone for a friend's bday treat. It's cold...amazingly cold...and after a good meal all you want to do is crash!

Anyhow, what made me want to blog at this unearthly hour was my short walk from the computer center to my room...it was the most beautiful ever!

It is frigid...the temperature is around 4-6 degrees celsius...and the cold hits you as you try to hurry over to the nearest shelter (read under a thick bundled quilt in my hostel room!)...and then you look up...and find a clear sky, with billions of stars shining down at you...and for the next few moments...you forget the cold.

It is gorgeous!! You have to see it...feel it...to believe it. The campus is quiet....except some distant hum of buses/trucks doing their job...not a soul in sight...nothing except you and thousands of jewels in the sky...you can make out the Orion from its distinctive belt...and hundreds of other shapes...if you only stand still for a while...

The sky is clear...means it is chillier than ever...no cloud cover to warm the place down...but at that moment...you don't care...you feel one with the world...

But the moment passes by...you start shivering again...yearning for your cozy bed awaiting you..and you move on...promising the shimmering sky that you will be back tomorrow...

The Rainmaker

I have been told that I have an active imagination...which is good I guess...except all I use it for is to lose myself in whatever movie I watch or book I read(fiction mind you, hard to lose yourself in Fixed Income Securities and RBI manuals).

The Rainmaker got me today. I hereby declare myself a fan of Francis Ford Capollo and Matt Damon (Big surprise huh?) unto death. I don't care if the two have screwed up in other movies (have they?) or plan to do so in the future...I love them for the heart and soul they put into this one. Books are usually better...is what I have experienced...but I haven't read any Grishams...so no clue.

Justice...it is a highly abused term. Every time I hear this word, screams of "Kanoon andha hai" reverbrate in my head ( too many dramatic moments in too many dramatic movies). Real life cases that have gained notoriety over my 22 years have left me disillusioned and caused me to lose faith in atleast the Indian judicial system (Ok...I'll cut out on the drama...to be fair to them...maybe we never hear about the "justice served and man hanged on time cases"...sigh...sensationalism sells).

Coming back to the movie...the sharp execution...the characters brought to life by amazing actors...it was breathtaking! Matt Damon...his eyes...that teared up just enough at the right places...his boyish innocence along with that look of sheer determination...the fumbling of a newbie lawyer...and then collecting himself and going ahead with it...learning on the job...it wasn't overdone one bit...that would have killed it. He was perfect...

And so was Danny De Vito...as the faithful sidekick-cum-valuable teacher! All of them actually!
Loved the "Good", loved to hate the "Bad", even the "Ugly" (The "judge" who died...and the boy's father... it was amazing...when he's shown going to his "comfort zone"..the car surrounded by cats...with a drink in that brown paper bag...it forces you to wonder...and realize...that the old man wasn't always a good for nothing drunkard...he just couldn't deal with the fact that he might lose his son, and was distancing himself from him in the only possible way he knew...when matt Damon wraps up his son's photograph in a brown bag and gives it to him on his funeral...it is heartwrenching)

And you know what else I liked about it...for once...they didn't portray the protagonist as a superhuman. There wasn't any "grey"...it was all black and white. If you stand up for something...you go all the way...If you don't think you can handle it...back off and do what you can do best...without "sacrificing" your love and your life. Make a difference in the best possible way in the given circumstances. That's what Rudy did when he quit his practice and went and settled with the love of his life, teaching what he loved most...he didn't compromise on anything...his personal life...or his profession...

Famous last lines......"Every lawyer, in every case, crosses a line he didn't mean to cross. It just happens. And if you cross it enough times, it disappears forever. Then you're nothing but a lawyer joke. Just another shark in the dirty water."

Just made me wonder what lines I had crossed so many times that it didn't matter anymore...sooo didn't like the answer.